Sorry I haven’t posted here recently. I really should have because with the help of friends, family, and fans, I was able to raise enough money for my next album!! It’s going to be called “Anchored.” I chose the name because of the season of life I’ve been in–learning where to anchor myself (to Christ, family and close friends, and my authentic identity) and what falls short (all of the stuff, busyness, people-pleasing, and pursuit of success). It’s being rooted in the midst of the storms of life, as well as life’s joys. It’s being stable, consistent, and playing the long game. Truthfully, it’s more of a vision of how I’d like the be than how I feel I actually am day in and day out.
I’ve been reflecting a lot lately on being brave and having courage in this way. My current read is Brene Brown’s new book The Gifts of Imperfection:
Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are.
I wonder how long I’ve been striving towards who I’m “supposed to be.” I’ve been slowly uncovering truths about how I’ve compromised who I really am for who I think others would want me to be. I wonder how much time it will take to build true courage and set boundaries around my life so I can pursue what I’m most passionate about. The desire is there, but it’s a work in progress. But hey, I’m starting! This album has turned out to be so much more than writing a few songs and recording them. It’s a launch point into my vocation and it’s overcoming years of burying my gifts to avoid being vulnerable with my insecurities.
Last night we saw hip hop violinist Lindsey Stirling at DAR Constitution Hall and she gave a powerful pep talk to her audience, saying “know that you’re good enough, even when people say you aren’t. You have gifts you want to share and need to be shared.” She talked about getting rejected in front of millions of people on America’s Got Talent, as well as the vulnerability of losing a best friend to sickness and dealing with anger in that loss before being “saved by gratitude.” I really understood what she was trying to say–and I totally suspect she’s been reading Brene Brown’s new book as well! But her grit and determination have served her well as she paves a new road. I keep thinking about being the type of person that gets back up when she falls and not letting rejection determine my fate or future. If you know God’s given you a calling or a gift, you have to see it through to the end–and to do this, you have to know your worth isn’t from what other people think of you. And man. That’s. Hard.